Young Adult Group

Our Young Adult Group, for those ages 18-30 who are grieving the death of a loved one began meeting in September. We will soon begin a combination format of face-to-face meetings, as well as sharing thoughts via the blog.

If you are interested in joining this support group, please post your comment to the question below. To learn about the actual meeting times, please call Lost & Found at 417-865-9998.

Our first topic of discussion:

The death of a loved one is difficult at any age as we struggle to adjust to the reality that the loved one is no longer with us and as we figure out how to incorporate that loss into our lives. Let's talk about what makes your loss especially difficult at this time in your life. What do you miss the most? What adjustments are you making in your life?

Young Adult Group

At Lost & Found we are always trying to think of more ways to meet the need of grieving people in the Springfield area. I'm sure the list is not only extensive, but endless. One thing we try to do is listen carefully to the people who contact us for help. We started to notice last year that we kept receiving calls asking about a college/young adult aged group. Although Lost & Found has been completely devoted to children's services, the requests became so great, that we felt as though we had to expand our services to meet the needs of the young adult population in Springfield.

With all of that said, we understand that it can be nerve racking to commit to attending a support group for grief, when all of the specifics have yet to be addressed. For this reason, we are holding an informational session at Lost & Found on September 10 at 5:30 p.m. Please come meet our staff, ask questions, and enjoy some refreshments on us.

If you have any questions or if you need directions, please contact Lost & Found at 417.865.9998. We hope to see you there!

Check out our new look!

Recently, the Conor House had some cosmetic work performed. We are excited about the new look, and wanted to make you aware of it. A special thanks to those who have made donations specifically to the Conor House project, and to those who helped with the labor. This upgrade is made possibly by so many generous people within our community. We are SO excited about this new look. We hope it feels even more comfortable and homey to those who attend our support groups.

Facilitator Training

Lost & Found is holding Facilitator Training on September 12 & 13. Perhaps you have considered volunteering as a facilitator before, or maybe you aren't exactly sure what a facilitator does-either way, this post is for you!

Groups at Lost & Found are ran by volunteers who have undergone training at Lost & Found. Facilitator training is a Friday evening (5-8:30) and a Saturday (8:30-3) where volunteers learn the history of Lost & Found, hear each other's stories of loss, and are trained in reflective listening and other skills that are important when working with grieving families. When a volunteer completes training (and observes a couple of groups), we call them a facilitator.

Facilitators really have an awesome job because they get to work with our wonderful families, have the privilege of hearing their stories, and help them work through their grief. If you would like to be a part of this rewarding experience then contact Nannette at the Lost & Found office at 417.865.9998 or by email at nannette@lostandfoundozarks.com. We would love to have you!

Eggfest Mid-America 2008

Where there's smoke...There must be a party!!!!!

You are invited to Eggstravaganza Mid-America 2008

September 27, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Come and cook or just join in the fun for a day of great food, friends, and family entertainment. Show off your cooking skills, meet new friends, taste some of the best barbecue anywhere and party...party...PARTY!!!

Outdoor Home is proud to sponsor EGGstravaganza Mid-America 2008 which is being held as a charitable event. Proceeds will benefit Lost & Found.

Don't miss out! Sign up now at www.outdoorhome.com/eggfest.asp

2008 Charity Golf Tournament

For all of you who love golf-get ready! Lost & Found is hosting their fourth annual golf tournament on August 25, 2008 at Hickory Hills Country Club. This tournament is full of fun contests and competition. If you play golf, you won't want to miss it! Contact Holly McGee at the Lost & Found office to reserve your spot!

Teen Rock Climbing Night

This summer we decided that we needed an activity specifically for the Teen Group.  We started the evening with some adventure by rock climbing at Petra Rock Climbing Gym.  Petra gave us a great deal, and their staff (specifically Grace) was a huge help in teaching our Teens how to climb.

After the rock climbing adventure, we headed back to the Conor House for dinner-pizza, soda, chips and brownies.  Needless to say, the night was a hit. (How can you go wrong with rock climbing, pizza, and brownies?)

A big THANKS to everyone who helped make this night possible!

Memory Stones

During the last two weeks of group before summer break, the kids made stepping stones in memory of their loved one that died. This was the first project that the parent and children groups were combined. We used the stones that were made to help create a pathway in our new memory garden located on the north side of the Conor House. Please feel free to stop by and see the updated landscaping and pathway.

Family BBQ

Each year, Lost & Found hosts a BBQ for our families in July. This year's BBQ was off the hook. We had all hands on deck to make our BBQ fun and enjoyable for our kids and their parents. The YMCA provided an inflatable game, as well as a lot of other fun games for the kids to play, and our parents enjoyed conversing while some great volunteers cooked them dinner. We finished the night by doing a balloon release in memory of the person who died. If you didn't make it this year, don't miss it next year!

Awesome Volunteers

We are so lucky to have such stellar volunteers here at Lost & Found. Our volunteers range from executives, counselors, teachers, business men and women, stay at home parents, and even college students. The people we are so lucky to work with are willing to help out in nearly any capacity. It is through their dedication and commitment that Lost & Found is able to function and provide such important services to grieving families in the area. To all of our dedicated, amazing volunteers-THANK YOU!! We could not do it without you!

Living with Loss

Living with Loss is a new segment that will be featured on the Lost & Found blog.  Check back each week to read about someone's experience, hear how they are learning to cope with their own loss, and the ways their friends and family are supporting them.  Whether you are working through your own loss, or are trying to figure out how to be a support to someone else who has experienced a death of a loved one, these segments will hopefully enlighten and help you. 

If you would like to share your story, please email me at nannette@lostandfoundozarks.com.

Summer Break

As many of you know, the summer break at Lost & Found is quickly approaching. Groups will not be in session from June 16 until August 18. Although we will miss seeing you all through the summer, we hope you enjoy your break!

Please check out the other activities that we will be having this summer and mark your calendars! You don't want to miss these great opportunities!!

June 30, 6-9 PM: TEENS ONLY-Pizza, Petra and Party!!! (Please call the L&F office to RSVP)
July 12, 7 AM: Y Not Run (1 mile, 5K and 10K runs) Let us know if you want to run-we'll see you there!
July 15, 10AM: Family Fun Day (Hiland Springs Country Club)
July 17-20: Price Cutter Charity Championship
July 19: Price Cutter Charity Championship Fireworks (Hiland Springs at dusk)
July 24, 6-8 PM: Lost & Found Family Picnic

It Takes a Village...

Shortly after my 13th birthday, my oldest brother Craig, 21, was killed in a car accident. Immediately, my family changed. The one constant, familiar thing in my life felt unstable for the first time.    

Looking back, I realize that the survival of my immediate family was largely dependent upon the support of our close friends and extended family.  Each member of my family was dealing with Craig's death in a very individual manner, which allowed for minimal support and communication.

For the first time, that I can remember, I felt an extreme amount of tension in my home.  My dad, who is typically jovial and lighthearted, became quiet and introverted.  My mom, who is organized and efficient, cried every day for at least two years. My brother became more defiant of authority, and my sister, who was a 4.0 student, began to struggle in her classes. I was frustrated that my life had been permanently altered, and I had no control over it.  Needless to say, we were all very different.

The hardest part, aside from losing Craig, was the loss of normalcy.  Holidays, weddings, and other special celebrations were dreaded because they served as a reminder of our own loss. It felt like I had not only lost my brother, but my entire life.  

The one thing that helped me the most was the support of the Barton Family.  Jennifer Barton had been my best friend for several years prior to Craig's death. Her family was always warm and welcoming, but I never knew the extent of their love for me, or my family, until Craig died.  

Randy and Bobbie were so sensitive and perceptive about what I needed as a 14 year old.  They recognized how much things had changed in my family, and to the best of their ability, they filled in the empty places.  They never told me they understood how I felt-they listened, hugged, and cried with me.  

In addition to the emotional support they offered, they did really practical things as well.  There were countless times they gave me a ride to church, an activity, or cheerleading practice, even though it was inconvenient.  They knew my parents needed help, and they extended it-willingly and unreservedly.  They provided me with stability and support, not just for a few weeks, but months and years after Craig's death. 

It has been almost 11 years since the death of my brother, and we are making it through.  We will always miss Craig- He is an irreplaceable part of each of us, but the intensity of the grief has lessened enormously.   I remember thinking that my family might never feel normal again, but I think we finally do.  It has taken a really, really long time, but that is the nature of grief. 

I think the African proverb is right-It does take a village to raise a child-especially one who is dealing with a death in their family.  I'm forever indebted to the Barton family.  They were my safe haven, and are an irreplaceable part of my life.  

If you have a story of support, or would like to thank someone who has been there for you, please feel free to post a comment.  We would love to hear from you!

Volunteers Rock!

One of my favorite aspects of working at Lost & Found is having the opportunity to see committed volunteers assist us in meeting the different needs we have around our facility. The list of needs can be both extensive and diverse for three reasons: 1. We have to do most projects for free, or minimal cost, 2. We only have three full-time staff members, and 3. Our facility, The Conor House, is a 100-year old house. 

One group of volunteers that readily comes to mind are the generous people at JP Chase Morgan Company.  For the second time in a few months, Chase associates came to lend us a hand.  

The first group of volunteers came in March.  They spent an entire day painting, cleaning, and organizing our facility.  They were all so pleasant and willing to help out in any manner we asked them to.  They really helped us create a welcoming and homey environment.  It would have taken us weeks to accomplish what this team did in a matter of hours.

The second group of people from Chase worked for an afternoon in our yard.  They brought wheelbarrows and rakes, and came ready to work hard.  Our gardens and landscaping were in serious need of TLC, and thanks to this group of hard workers, they got exactly that!  

Thank you Chase Volunteers!  We appreciate all that you have done!

  

 

Little Ones Grieve in Very Big Ways

"I'm six years old and my daddy died from cancer." "I'm five and my daddy died in a car accident." "I'm four and my brother died." These words are spoken by the tiny voices of members of the Little Ones group, a new Lost & Found group for children ages three to six-the youngest Lost & Found serves.

"Even very young children grieve the loss of a parent or sibling.  We felt they needed their own group, structured to serve their special needs," said Lost & Found Executive Director, Karen Scott.  "Their group meets earlier than the older children's groups, which follow an evening schedule, and provides age-appropriate activities with more play," she said.  "By the time the Little Ones had its first meeting, 11 children had joined, with 10 moms in the parent group that meets at the same time."

Structured activities are designed to help the Little Ones understand what has happened and to share feelings.  Despite the sadness that brings them to Lost & Found, laughter can be heard in the playroom as the children fully embrace toys, art supplies, and the caring volunteers who facilitate the group's activities.  Play is the "work" of children, and much of the little Ones' time is spent in play.  Sometimes they re-enact medical procedures they have witnessed or a funeral or graveside scene.  Sometimes they play a favorite game they played with the person who died. Dress-up clothes are a favorite activity that's often accompanied by squeals of laughter.  Through play, children are able to process their grief and come to grips with the major changes in their young lives.

Liz Viele, group coordinator, shared her delight in what she and other facilitators have observed: "When we first started, the kids were so timid and quite. Now they've made new friends and are so much more comfortable talking about their losses.  They are learning that death in their family is just a small piece of their identity." 

Little Ones' moms have seen the same progress in their children.  Tara Skaggs, who has two children in the group said, "My kids are able to open up and talk about their dad more.  Lost & Found has taught them how to talk about him and has helped them focus on all the good things in their lives instead of just the sad things.  They are much happier now," she said.  "They talk more about the funny things and good memories of their dad instead of focusing on the sad part of losing him."

The grieving process occurs over time for children.  To reach a new understanding of the death, children reprocess their grief at each developmental stage.  The grief work of very young children is not about complex issues; it's about learning to adjust to the absence of simple, everyday things that are no longer part of their lives.  They may miss dad's rough-and-tumble play, mom's bedtime stories or the routine of a parent or sibling coming home from work or school.  In adjusting to even the simplest changes in a routine, it's critical for children to regain their sense of safety and security.  With support from the loving volunteers at Lost & Found, children can learn to laugh again while learning to hold the memories of loved ones forever in their hearts.