Thanks to Abby Wuellner of KY3 and the brave children and parents at Lost & Found for a wonderful story on our annual Christmas activity in which the children make angel ornaments in memory of their deceased loved one. The children hang their angel ornaments on our tree, and we have a candle lighting ceremony to honor their grief, courage, and love. It is a very meaningful activity for the holiday season.
Double click on the title of this story to link to the video that aired on television.
29 December 2009
07 December 2009
Tips for Helping the Bereaved cope with the Holidays.
Getting Past Christmas
1. Buy a Christmas candle and light it each day through December.
One mother remembered, "Every time that candle was lit, the whole house seemed warmer. It was my daily, silent reminder of him and it made me feel so much better!"
2. Plan your shopping ahead of time or try creative alternatives.
Try shopping earlier before all the merry shoppers are out.
Maybe instead of shopping give your beloved your loved ones treasured possesions. Enclose a card to tell why that gift was chosen for them.
Maybe just write a check, they don't get returned!
3. Enlisth the help of others in wrapping your gifts.
Friends are only too happy to help. If you don't have wrapping paper use the comic strips and attach a bow.
4. Consider changing your traditional family Christmas note.
Often just putting our thougths on papaer takes more energy than you have. Other family memebersmight add their thougths this year. You may feel good getting to talk about your family tragedy. Feel freeto include a picture of your loved one and copy of the obituary. I did this, secretly hoping people would respon by returning mail and comment on Greg's picture.
5. Give yourself permission to change family traditions.
Talk over the changes with family. Change the day, the host. This may provide less painful memories. Change the food. Maybe go out to dinner and let someone else be your chef this year.
6. Try a new idea when you areready to hang up Christmas stockings.
You want to hang them all up but feel a little strange about it. Tell your family tat through December they each will have anote card and can use ti wrtie a note to the person who is gone. These could be a few phrases or a whole paragraph, relating something funny that has happened , some accomplishment or how much that person is missed. Put each note in the stocking, deciding to either read these cards together on a special evening or just letting familytake them out to read whenever they wish. The bestplan is to make this a new family tradition by keeping the cards in the stocking from year to year...it becomes a mini-family diary!
7. Determine to do one special thing for someone else in December.
Decide who it will be, put the name on the calendar so you won't forget. Visit someone lonely. Maybe you could make or buy cookies to give away. The season is a little easier when our eyes are focused, even fora brief time, on someone else.
8. Contribute to your favorite charity in your loved one's name.
Take time to jot down a note explaining who your loved one is.
One widow came up with a fantastic ide that combines the best of these plans. She went out and bought and entire outfit that would have fit her husband. Then she went home and baked his favorite cookies and put them in a small package, around which she packed the entire outfit. Wrapping it up, she left a note on it ather local homeless mission which said, Please give to a man size 33.
9. Pamper yourself this month.
Determine to buy yourself a present. Stay in your budget.
10. Plan on taking time to cry.
It is normal to cry during the hlidays. So many sights, places, aromas and sounds are instant memory -grabbers. Because it isnt healthy to hold back emotions, schedule teartimes intor your day. Pick a certaing lenght of time to cry, ten minutes, mabye or even an hour, whatever makes you comfortable. Play some old Christmas music that easily starts those tears. set aside a clock or kitchen timer for your predetermined minutes and then cry your heart out. You'll find it's easier to face whatever lese iscoming up in December when you've had your daily time for tears.
Holiday depression is common vern when you aren't grieving. we hope these tips are helpful during this sometimes overwhelming Christmas season.
Merry Christmas from Lost and Found
Tipsby Carlene Vester Eneroth
Copyright Centering Corporation
1. Buy a Christmas candle and light it each day through December.
One mother remembered, "Every time that candle was lit, the whole house seemed warmer. It was my daily, silent reminder of him and it made me feel so much better!"
2. Plan your shopping ahead of time or try creative alternatives.
Try shopping earlier before all the merry shoppers are out.
Maybe instead of shopping give your beloved your loved ones treasured possesions. Enclose a card to tell why that gift was chosen for them.
Maybe just write a check, they don't get returned!
3. Enlisth the help of others in wrapping your gifts.
Friends are only too happy to help. If you don't have wrapping paper use the comic strips and attach a bow.
4. Consider changing your traditional family Christmas note.
Often just putting our thougths on papaer takes more energy than you have. Other family memebersmight add their thougths this year. You may feel good getting to talk about your family tragedy. Feel freeto include a picture of your loved one and copy of the obituary. I did this, secretly hoping people would respon by returning mail and comment on Greg's picture.
5. Give yourself permission to change family traditions.
Talk over the changes with family. Change the day, the host. This may provide less painful memories. Change the food. Maybe go out to dinner and let someone else be your chef this year.
6. Try a new idea when you areready to hang up Christmas stockings.
You want to hang them all up but feel a little strange about it. Tell your family tat through December they each will have anote card and can use ti wrtie a note to the person who is gone. These could be a few phrases or a whole paragraph, relating something funny that has happened , some accomplishment or how much that person is missed. Put each note in the stocking, deciding to either read these cards together on a special evening or just letting familytake them out to read whenever they wish. The bestplan is to make this a new family tradition by keeping the cards in the stocking from year to year...it becomes a mini-family diary!
7. Determine to do one special thing for someone else in December.
Decide who it will be, put the name on the calendar so you won't forget. Visit someone lonely. Maybe you could make or buy cookies to give away. The season is a little easier when our eyes are focused, even fora brief time, on someone else.
8. Contribute to your favorite charity in your loved one's name.
Take time to jot down a note explaining who your loved one is.
One widow came up with a fantastic ide that combines the best of these plans. She went out and bought and entire outfit that would have fit her husband. Then she went home and baked his favorite cookies and put them in a small package, around which she packed the entire outfit. Wrapping it up, she left a note on it ather local homeless mission which said, Please give to a man size 33.
9. Pamper yourself this month.
Determine to buy yourself a present. Stay in your budget.
10. Plan on taking time to cry.
It is normal to cry during the hlidays. So many sights, places, aromas and sounds are instant memory -grabbers. Because it isnt healthy to hold back emotions, schedule teartimes intor your day. Pick a certaing lenght of time to cry, ten minutes, mabye or even an hour, whatever makes you comfortable. Play some old Christmas music that easily starts those tears. set aside a clock or kitchen timer for your predetermined minutes and then cry your heart out. You'll find it's easier to face whatever lese iscoming up in December when you've had your daily time for tears.
Holiday depression is common vern when you aren't grieving. we hope these tips are helpful during this sometimes overwhelming Christmas season.
Merry Christmas from Lost and Found
Tipsby Carlene Vester Eneroth
Copyright Centering Corporation
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
